The Story starts off with a little girl crying on quite a quiet street. A young woman walks past notices the young girl crying and asks her what's wrong. The little girl looks up frightened by the sudden appearance of this stranger and quietly whispers that she's lost. The young woman's face softens and she knees down to the child's hight and asks where her parents are, the child shrugs her shoulders. The young women then asks if the child knows where she lives, nodding she repeats her address. The young girl knows where the house is and its not to far so offers to take her home. The child is slightly reluctant and shakes her head saying that her mother always said never to go anywhere with strangers. The young women smiles and promises she will take care of her and get her home safe. The little girl agrees and takes the young woman's hand and starts walking down the street with her.
The story then cuts to when they are almost at the house the little girls face lights up when she sees the house and she thanks the young woman with a big hug. The young woman says she will make sure she gets in safely and walks her into the house. When she steps through the front door she is amazed at the grand house looking around at the big stair case with elaborate paintings on the wall and a beautiful chandelier hanging in the middle, the young women looked back down to the little girl but she was gone, confused she looks around the room again, which is suddenly darker, paint peeling in the corners of the walls the paintings that were beautiful now depicted dark and haunting images. The young woman's heart pounding a little faster starts to feel a little uneasy, hearing a creek the little girl is sitting at the top of the stairs. The cute innocent face now had a sinister look on it. The room was now cold the young woman's breath could be seen as she breathed out heavily and the room now looked like something out of a horror movie, all the paintings on the wall were one horror scene after another, all the colours in the room dulled and the wall paper torn off most of the walls. The little girl was now standing halfway down the staircase and smiling. Now terrified the young woman spins round opens the door wide open and takes one step forward before a scream rips from her throat, she's launched backwards away from the door into the darkness of the house by some type of contraption the door slams shut and you slowly move back from the house and the camera follows a butterfly that flies back over the quite serene street and lands on a little girls hair as she's crying in the middle of the street.
okay Kym - so, how about getting this into the premise/logline/step outline format - and then into an actual script? I know you've been struggling, but you're falling behind again and I really want to be fizzing with enthusiasm come crit day, not repeating myself. Remember this from your last proforma?
ReplyDelete"There’s a general point to be made here in regard to your conceptual, intellectual and cultural development and the absence of all but one of your film reviews. I talk about it elsewhere in this feedback, but suffice to say, research, be it for your creative project or your film reviews (or the written assignments you’ll be writing soon enough) is integral to the creation of quality work (in whatever category). When you watch a film with me – or approach a new design project – I want to see you reading around the subject, being curious, being proactive and undertaking research, not because you ‘have’ to, but because you want to know more about everything that’s put in front of you! The absence of your film reviews signals to me an absence of supporting research, which equals an absence of knowledge in regard to production design and screen craft – which is just the sort of knowledge likely to support the evolution of conceptual ideas!"
It's time to take it up a notch, Kym - the task ahead of you in the remaining 3 weeks is MASSIVE, and you'd be unwise to underestimate the challenge. Let's see you putting in some business hours now.